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[08 Feb 2009|12:05pm]

NAME; Kayla Alek J.
AGE; 18
LOCATION; 40 minutes outside of San Fransisco Ca.
HEIGHT;Five foot Eight
LW;150ish at this height, my brother took my scale.
STG;220 by march seventh [one year anniversary with my boyfriend]
ED;EDNOS? I have been diagnosed with an anixety disorder, which probably has a lot to do with my obsession about food. It started at age ten or eleven, i was slightly over weight, i ate the bare minimum for two months and lost a lot of weight, then i started feeling comfortable and began eating again, which made me gain more weight than i lost, and ive repeated this patten over and over again for the last 7 years, each time it got worse and worse, the last two years my weight has fluctuated an entire 100pounds.
PICTURES; I hate being photographed, but here:
Around lowest weight:

Around highest weight: This was taken a couple months ago in colorado at my dads wedding

A LITTLE ABOUT YOU; I just want to feel comfortable again. I lost a whole lot of weight and got really cute, I know everything wasn't perfect but i wasn't as insecure, I had a ton of attention, I felt like people cared about me, like i was a person, and not just an awkward blob in the corner, then I met the most amazing boy ever, the kind of boy i thought i would never get, he was cute, and funny and could get any girl, but he chose me, and he loves me, and doesn't care what i look like, because he loves me any way i come, but i don't love me anymore. So I am trying to become a girl that both of us can love again. since we started dating 11 months ago i put on 80 pounds, i recently got some of them to leave, but i am far from perfect.

But yeah, always looking for friends!

[17 Feb 2008|09:34am]



Hi All! [02 Oct 2007|09:44pm]

[ mood | excited ]

NAME; Sivara
AGE; 19
BMI; 24
CW; 140
HW; 149
LW; 120
ED; Mia

My name is Sivara, Sivi for short. I just graduate high school, and am taking a year off to study arabic in Egypt. I've had Mia for about a couple of years, I actually think I get it from my mom. Anyway, its been getting pretty bad. More than a few times I have actually coughed up blood so I am trying to stop and just restrict. I probably won't get the high from going from full to empty, purging all my problems with the calories, but still. I think it should be replaced by the high from controlling everything i eat and restricting it down to nothing, that should be harder.


[27 Aug 2006|11:21pm]

ok so i turned vegan and have been so for 5 days now (vegan is vegetarian plus no dairy or eggs which is great cuz u cant eat butter, yogurt, cakes, sour cream, and lots of other fattening scary food)butttttttttt that also means that ive been binging like crazy on everything in the house that is fattening and still vegan. So here is my no-no list that I will not even touch even though its technically vegan:


NUTS (soooooooooooo bad)
these fattening pea crisps

So these are officially not an option to eat...

Its so weird, I was ana and then they made me gain weight but its like...I feel like I was happier when I was ana. So does that mean that I haven't really "recovered"?

thanks ladies, i love you guys!


[26 Feb 2006|08:51pm]

Do you ever find yourself basing all your fashion decisions on what Mary-Kate or Nicole, or whoever thinspires you? I went shopping today and I really noticed it for the first time!! I bought some clothes I really like, all baggy ones that made me feel a little smaller. My prom dress is totally Nicole Richie, it's a flowy dress, a high necked halter, with beading on the neckline, I got it at Neiman Marcus, it's Laundry by Shelli Segal, and I really love it. I got an awesome knockoff of the Chloe Paddington bag Mischa Barton has at Target, I love that. I also bought a dress exactly like one Mary-Kate has on in one of my fave thinspo pictures.

Last night I was babysitting, and I purged three times from all the food I kept eating. I woke up this morning with my throat practically swollen shut, I kept choking. Has this ever happened to any of you?? Honestly, it scared me enough that I'm probably never going to purge again. I'd really appreciate knowing if this happens to any of you guys!

Hope you guys all had good weekends (unlike mine lol) I'll get back on it, think thin!

[23 Feb 2006|08:04pm]

I'm so exhausted right now. I exercised a LOT today. I burnt about 690 calories at the gym, and I had a dance class, and at 7:00 I'm going back to the gym for a 30 minute pilates class. My intake for the day was right at about 1,800. It sucks, I'm aware. It's all because of some stupid Read more...Collapse )I would have been at 1500 had I not eaten those, and I really wish I hadn't. Good news is, I was at 142 this morning. (Yay me!) God knows how long that will last.

I bought some new diet pills today, they're called Leptopril, it says they're for significantly overweight people, like 20 pounds. I hope they work!! I know they're like a knockoff of that Leptoprin stuff that you see in the TV commercials. Any experience with them?

Plan for Tomorrow-

Read more...Collapse )

Which do you guys think is better, exercising a lot and eating a little more to keep up your energy, or eating like, hardly anything and not exercising much because you have no energy? Right now I'm eating for energy and working out a ton, cause I like how I feel afterwards, but am I sacrificing losing weight??

[23 Feb 2006|12:55pm]

So i was without internet for a while. but i'm back now. thank god!! lol. i've gotta start getting back into the mindset i was in before i got pregnant, that is, not so much moping about my weight, but moping and doing something about it. i'm gonna go out today and see about getting that fahrenheit stuff. got rid of all the carbs/ sweets in my house yesterday. so there's nothing that tempting, just mainly fruits and veggies in my fridge at the moment. it's the exercising part i need to get back into. it's so difficult with a newborn because i just cant go out for my morning runs anymore. it's too cold to take him and obviously i cant leave him in the house by himself. but yeah. i'll figure out something there. i guess that's my big update for right now. i'll update again later when i finally figure out a plan.



[22 Feb 2006|08:10pm]

I did pretty well, considering the amount of exercise I did today. My total comes to 1200 calories, and I exercised off about 700 calories. I'm still super-bloated, but I can actually kind of tell a difference in my appearance in the mirror. Maybe i'm actually getting somewhere! I was supposed to go to lunch with a friend to a Read more...Collapse ) restaurant tomorrow, but I canceled on her cause it was really really stressing me out!

Read more...Collapse )

Diet fact- Always cold? Shape magazine says that your body will try to compensate for every little calorie reduction. It may even lower your body temperature 1 or 2 degrees in order to use less energy heating itself. Make sure that you get enough intake or exercise, because your body's impulse is to conserve weight, not lose it.

Think thin guys!

[21 Feb 2006|09:25pm]

Does anyone else binge way heavy when they're on their period? I know I do!!! I went totally nuts today, seriously, my calorie total is like, 2500. I'm not joking. I just kept eating and eating and eating and eating and I really didn't want to purge it, but I had to. I worked out, but only for like, and hour and a half, and I only burnt like, 6 or 7 hundred calories. I'm gonna be so huge in the morning. I'm starting to feel like I'll never reach my goal, but I really really want to. Just curious, If anyone feels like answering, how many of you guys binge really bad when you get on your period?

[20 Feb 2006|02:08pm]

So I've been looking in mirrors all day, and I'm definitely fatter than I was last week. So depressing. But whatever, I'm back on it now and I'm gonna do this right. Anyways, I was up all night pretty much, showered and got ready around 6, then fell asleep until 7:30, then I had school, which I just got back from. I'm exhausted and I really just want to pass out in my bed, but I promised B we'd do something today, so we're going to see Date Movie at 4:30. Anyways, doing well so far today, I'll make a fuller entry later. Byee.

[20 Feb 2006|09:16am]

Okay, I want to get a lot done today with my diet, because I have the whole day free. (President's Day is really such a great holiday lol)

I woke slept a good amount last night, so I've decided that I want to be 142 tomorrow, which is the number that it says on my driver's license. (The number that I lied about.)

Plan for Today:

Read more...Collapse )

With a schedule like that, I can definately be 142 in the morning. I'm at 143 right now. Wish me luck guys.

I hope you're all as motivated as I am, think thin.

[20 Feb 2006|02:00pm]
I haven't been posting very much because I was determined to get healthy.. it hasn't worked.

Now, I'm freaking out because I went downstairs to order my meal and my RA ordered a chicken parmigiana which has, like 676 calories.. about triple my normal daily allowance. He also said he's going to check and see that I've eaten it. Please help, anyone have any advice? I'm thinking of requesting a salad instead but I'm very particular about how my meals are prepared. This is just not cool..

I'm trying to be as normal as possible, but I know I cannot handle this without tears. Does anyone have ANY advice? Please?

[19 Feb 2006|09:47pm]

Hiya everyone,

I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm not doing too well with my restriction at the minute. And I thought what might be a good idea is if we all share with each other our favourite pro-ana websites. Mine are:




What are all your favourite websites?


[19 Feb 2006|01:55pm]

HONESTLY.....I've been doing terribly....I swear ever since Valentine's Day, it's been like a non stop bingefest. We've had family here visiting since Tuesday, so we've gone out to dinner/ordered take out...a lot. I've been eating SO much for the past 5 days but surprisingly, I didn't gain much...checked earlier on & I was about 147....so I've only gained like 4 pounds cuz I really didn't lose much at all last week. Anyways I've satisfied all of my food needs for the week definitely & I really just want to cleanse my body from all this food. I also booked time off work for my spring break, so for sure I am going away for half of it (March 15th-20th) & I really want to lose at least 10 pounds by then....I have to.

Anyways, I'm starting a fast tomorrow for sure. I'm gonna make it a Monday to Friday fast at least (February 20th - 25th) but if I can go longer, I plan to. My #1 goal this week is to NOT DRINK POP....honestly....I just want to stop drinking it altogether. I'm limiting myself to water, tea, low-cal hot chocolate, & maybe some juice or treat myself with cappucino once or twice this week. I'm making this a 300cals/day MAX. (preferably less) liquid fast. I was gonna start back at the gym this week, but they aren't renewing the membership until March 1st. I am gonna try & do at least 30 minutes on the exercise bike 3 times this week....& also I'm gonna do a bunch of different ab workouts & strength training & whatnot. I have the whole week off work, so I need to stop being a lazy bitch & actually use my time after school wisely.....

I would really love to have someone do this with me....someone who is on pretty often so we can discuss progress & all that. I have to go to work soon, but when I get home tonight I really want to lay out a simple, easy to stick to workout plan for this week.....SUGGESTONS ALWAYS WELCOME !!!

[19 Feb 2006|08:09am]

I had the scariest night last night. I was hanging out with my boyfriend, we went out to dinner at Read more...Collapse ) We went back to his house for a little while. Before I knew it I had this stabbing wrenchig pain in my lower stomach, and I was throwing up in his bathroom. I was literally lying on his bathroom floor shaking, and i was white as a ghost. I couldn't even get up for like, half an hour, and then I had him take me home and I fell straight to sleep. The only good part of it is that had I not thrown up I definatley would have gained weight from all that food. I was trying to think of a way to purge it anyways without him hearing me. so today, I'm at 143 again, tomorrow hopefully that will be 142. Any ideas as to why this happened would be greatly appreciated, I mean, I was seriously considering calling 911 or something.

I need energy! [17 Feb 2006|05:17pm]

Today was not good!! Read more...Collapse ) however, i felt so bad about it, that i purged all of it, and then i just felt completely weak and gross at practice. I just feel dead right now, i need more energy. I'll probably eat Read more...Collapse ) before the basketball game tonight.

Here's my question: I need energy all throughout the day tomorrow. I have a dance competition, and I'm just going to be up and running around all day long, so I need to eat small things throughout the whole day, and avoid the concessions they'll have, cause they'll have a lot. Any suggestions? I'm thinking like, Read more...Collapse ) I'd really appreciate any ideas you guys have!!

New fast [16 Feb 2006|08:09pm]

[ mood | determined ]

I'm starting a fast tomorrow at 6am.

-500 cals. or less. a day
-Any liquid, but it's part of your calorie intake
-No eating after 6pm
-One week, then two if possible

Anyone care to join?

AIM: XenaGirl90210
MSN: Wounded_Mockingbird1989@hotmail.com


new plan for the next ten pounds [16 Feb 2006|07:41am]

I've figured something out: I always binge in the evenings!! Always, always, always. And why should I do that? My metabolism is wayyy higher in the morning! so from now on, im always gonna eat breakfast. Then maybe, just maybe it will be way easier to skip lunch and dinner. Plus, I always weight myself in the morning, so if i eat in the morning after weighing and not at night, the scale will show me less. Lots of water today, I have practice after school, and then I'm going to go to the gym! I was 144 yesterday morning, and I totally went back up to 145 this morning, inevitably due to the 1080 calories I consumed yesterday. I have no will power, but I'm going to make up for it.

After seeing this other girl's pictures of her thinspiration journal, which was sooo cute, my project for tonight is to do a way cuter one. I just got the sports illustrated swimsuit....best thinspiration ever.....and I'm going to totally redo my thinspo book to make it full of mary kate, lindsay, nicole, sienna, kate moss, and swimsuit models.

Tomorrow, my goal is 143. Think I can do it? I sure hope I can. Hope you ladies all have a good day! Think thin!

[15 Feb 2006|03:26pm]

Does anyone have verison so I can text you if I need support?
It would help me tons

God has granted me a miracle [15 Feb 2006|07:29am]

I woke up this morning discouraged and unmotivated and scared of today (i'm going college visiting and to a basketball game with my parents and boyfriend)

I'm totally motivated now though!! I just got on the scale and i brok 145!! I know weigh 144!! It's a miracle!

For today my aim is under 800 calories, even if i have to order food and not eat any of it. Pray for me guys, I won't be able to get on the computer after this all day long.

I can do it, yes i can. I will be 130 i will be 130 i will be 130. I do not want food, i do not want food, i do not want food. Gonna read Wasted all morning and Cosmo all night.

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